There’s a certain kind of pain that comes from being blindsided—not by strangers, but by those you thought might, just might, be safe. You give grace, extend the benefit of the doubt, and hope that maybe this time, things will be different. But then—right when you let your guard down—bite.
Not everyone gets it. Some people will say, “But that’s your mother.” Or, “That’s just how she is.” Or, “Maybe you’re being too sensitive.” They don’t understand that some of us have already been bitten too many times to keep reaching out our hand.
So we step back. Not because we’re bitter, not because we hate them, but because self-preservation demands it. We’ve learned the hard way that just because someone is familiar doesn’t mean they’re safe.
The Snake Never Changes, Only the Setting 🏡💻
Sometimes, the snake is in your family.
Sometimes, the snake is in your workplace.
Sometimes, the snake is in your community, disguised as support but waiting for an opportunity to strike.
It could be the coworker who smiles in your face but undermines you in meetings.
It could be the relative who insists they love you but always finds a way to leave you emotionally bleeding.
It could be the group of people who don’t even know you but still gather to see you fall.
So how do you handle it when you’re not quite ready to cut them off completely?
Dealing with the Snake Without Getting Bitten 🛑
- Don’t Pick Them Up 🖐🏾 – The first rule of self-preservation is awareness. If you already know someone has shown you their nature, don’t give them an opening to prove it again. Keep your expectations in check and limit how much access they have to your energy.
- Set Boundaries and Stick to Them 🚪 – Boundaries aren’t punishments; they’re protection. You don’t have to go no-contact, but you can go low-contact. If they only reach out when they want something? Keep your responses short. If they drain you emotionally? Keep your interactions surface-level.
- Detach Emotionally 🔌 – Not everyone deserves a front-row seat to your emotions. If someone always finds a way to weaponize your feelings, stop giving them the ammunition. Keep your vulnerable moments for those who have earned the right to hold them.
- Stop Explaining Yourself 🛑 – Some people don’t want to understand; they just want to argue. If your daughter (or anyone else) doesn’t get why you keep certain people at a distance, that’s okay. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for protecting your peace.
- Let Their Karma Handle It ☁️ – The best part about snakes? They don’t need outside help to get tangled in their own mess. Some things are best left to the universe to handle.
Final Thought: Trust Yourself 🤎
If your gut tells you that someone is not safe, believe it. If past experiences have shown you that every time you let them in, they hurt you, don’t let guilt or outside pressure make you ignore the warning signs.
You don’t have to hate the snake.
You don’t have to fight the snake.
You just have to stop picking it up.
And when someone asks why you’ve chosen to keep your distance?
Simply smile and say, “I know what they are.”
🐍✨
