As someone who’s always been a doer, I’ve come to realize something: people often confuse doing with leading. And when that happens, things can get a little frustrating. Being a doer is not the same as being a leader, and if you’re a fellow doer, you’ve probably felt this too.

Let’s break it down. 🌍

What Is a Doer?

A doer is someone who just gets things done—no fuss, no waiting for the right moment. We’re the ones who say, “I’m going to learn a new skill,” and then actually go do it. Whether it’s planning a trip, picking up a hobby, or just tackling life’s daily tasks, we don’t hesitate. 💪🏾💪🏽💪🏻

Here’s the thing, though: we do these things for ourselves. We’re not trying to lead others or manage a group. We’re just living our lives and achieving our personal goals.

What Is a Leader?

A leader is someone who intentionally takes on the role of guiding and directing others. Leaders create plans with a group in mind, set clear goals, and make sure everyone is aligned from the start. Leadership involves taking responsibility not just for your own actions, but for the success of the group as a whole.

Leaders have to think about the big picture, communicate clearly, and make sure everyone’s on the same page. 🌟 While leaders are great at organizing and motivating others, that’s not always what doers are focused on.

The Misunderstanding: Doers Aren’t Always Leaders

Here’s where things get complicated. Sometimes, people look at doers and assume we’re natural leaders just because we’re proactive. But that’s not how it works.

Often, followers—people who might be dreamers, waiting for the right moment to act—will latch onto a doer. They think, “Here’s someone who can help me get where I want to go!” But for us doers, that can be a bit of a turn-off. 😓

Take a simple example: I plan a solo trip. I’ve done the research, set my itinerary, and I’m excited to go. Then, someone tags along. Cool, right? Well, not always. If they’re expecting me to guide them every step of the way, suddenly it feels like I’m traveling alone, even with someone beside me. I’m still the one doing all the planning, while they wait for direction. It’s exhausting! 😩

Or let’s say I’m starting a new hobby—maybe photography. I dive right in, taking classes, buying equipment, and learning as I go. A friend shows interest, but doesn’t participate. They’re waiting for me to lead them through it, instead of taking the initiative themselves. Now I feel like a teacher, when all I wanted was to enjoy this hobby.

When Followers Attach Themselves to Doers

Many followers don’t even realize they’re doing this. They’re dreamers, and they have goals—they just don’t act on them until they attach themselves to a doer. And to be clear, dreamers aren’t bad—but the dynamic between doers and followers can become one-sided.

Some followers don’t like leaders because leadership comes with expectations. Leaders demand certain things from the start, like commitment and participation. But doers? We’re just doing our own thing, so we don’t set those same standards upfront. To the follower, we might seem easier to follow—until they realize we’re not here to lead them.

Followers might think, “I’ll just follow this person’s lead,” but what they don’t realize is that the doer isn’t leading anyone—they’re just doing. 👣

When Expectations Don’t Align

One of the most uncomfortable moments for a doer is when a follower suddenly starts offering ideas halfway through something we’ve already planned. Imagine I’ve spent weeks planning that solo road trip across the country, and halfway through, my companion suggests we go somewhere else entirely. 😬

It’s not that I don’t want input—it’s just that the plan was already made. If the follower wanted to contribute ideas, that should have been done at the start, not in the middle of my carefully laid-out plan. Now, I’m forced to detour or change course, and that’s uncomfortable. It throws off my rhythm and adds stress where there didn’t need to be any.

How Can Followers Help?

If you’re someone who finds yourself following a doer, here’s what you can do to keep things balanced:

• Contribute from the beginning: Offer ideas, help plan, and show that you’re invested in the process. That way, the doer doesn’t feel like they’re carrying the whole load.
• Take care of your own needs: Don’t expect the doer to be responsible for everything. If you’re coming along, make sure you can handle your part without needing constant direction.
• Communicate: If you have ideas or suggestions, speak up before the journey begins—not in the middle of it. Doers appreciate input, but it needs to come at the right time.

In Conclusion

Being a doer doesn’t automatically make someone a leader. If you’re someone who tends to follow, take a moment to consider the dynamic. Are you relying on the doer to lead, even though they never signed up for that role? It’s important to recognize when you’re putting unfair expectations on someone who just wants to get things done. 🤝🏾🤝🏼

Doers thrive when they’re able to focus on their goals without feeling burdened by the need to guide others. So if you’re tagging along with a doer, make sure to bring something to the table. Together, you can have great experiences—as long as everyone understands their role.